Facing the Demon
By: Steve Flores

I have read stories about it. I’ve even heard it’s name whispered among certain individuals. My closest friend, however, only laughs at the very mention of it’s existence. It is comparable, in some ways, to Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster. Everyone has heard of them, haven‘t they? But do they exist? Could this new monster be born simply out of half truths? Or was it conjured up by someone simply eager for attention? I wonder where it lives. Does it even have a name? Unknowingly, I will soon have all the answers.

With my bow at full draw, I am terrified to the point that I absolutely cannot trigger my release. I quickly realize that this “thing” is for real. It indeed does exist. I stand motionless. My mind, torn between what must happen and what might possibly happen, begins to drown in it’s own self doubt. I find that I cannot breath. It feels as though a “Hummer” is setting on my chest. I struggle to loose an arrow, but I can’t.

My mind quietly screams, “TAKE THE SHOT! DO IT NOW!” I think about my sight pin and question what my trigger finger is doing. Again it shouts, “TAKE THE SHOT! DO IT NOW!” Yet again, I contemplate my sight pin and what my trigger finger is doing. “TAKE THE SHOT! DO IT NOW! TAKE THE SHOT! DO IT NOW!” Where is my pin? “TAKE THE SHOT!” Where is my trigger finger? “TAKE THE SHOT!” Where is my pin? “TAKE THE SHOT!”

Abruptly, in the mist of this unending nightmare, one single impulse breaks free from my tangled mind. The signal travels through my central nervous system, down to the tip of my trigger finger. I sense it violently “jerk”. The arrow is gone. It does not find it’s mark and the demon has me.

Although I suffer no physical damage during this encounter, I find that my mind and my confidence level are crushed. I have just stood face to face with the demon, and he has won. How crafty he is with his schemes. How devious. I never knew he was there until his claws were in my back. There was no indication that an encounter with him could be so destructive. “Who is he?” you ask. His name is Panic. Target Panic.

For now, let us forget about all of the visual association. It is simply my meager attempt to take an affliction that exists only in my mind, and put it on a piece of paper.

Target Panic, in it’s purist sense, is a form of shot anticipation. The archer tries to command the shot at the exact moment the sight pin rolls onto the target. Some individuals can shoot reasonably well using this technique. I know, because I used to be one of them.

Eventually though, if you like to shoot as often as you can like I do, this procedure will morph itself into a crippling disorder that will soon become a habit. Breaking this habit, for me, has been comparable to smashing a brick with a rubber hammer. It’s real hard, and it isn’t going to happen quickly.

It should be mentioned that in no way do I profess to be an expert hunter or archer. I do, however, know a little bit about this evil ghoul named “Target Panic”.

You see, he showed up at my door a few season’s back, and I was to pigheaded to show him the way out. I let him get comfortable, and he decided to take up permanent residence between my ears. Any efforts to throw him out were lackadaisical at best and he grew stronger.

As I write this piece, I am still in the process of purging this negative character out of my system. Long and hard this path has been.

My therapy sessions began around a month ago. I had been shooting for some time and was feeling rather good about myself. Then, with no warning, I plainly could not hit the side of a mountain to save my life. I felt a tremendous sense of anxiety the moment that I drew to anchor. I would freeze off target, and then “yank” the trigger in an effort to end the demoralizing situation. Something that I truly love to do had been reduced to a nerve racking balancing act. It was no longer fun to shoot a bow. I needed to rewire my nervous system and revamp my own opinions on how to send an arrow down range.

The most accurate way to launch an arrow is subconsciously. It should be as simple as walking across the room and should occur as an utter surprise. But how? Read on, and notice what appears to be working for me.

A change in my release aid was the first step. The manner in which I aim was the second. Take into consideration though, this is simply how I am doing it. It may not be the best way, or the only way. It is just my way. But it seems to be working.

After acquiring a release aid (Golden Key Answer) that did not permit me to “punch” the trigger, I set out to face my personal demon. I started out with a blank target face. Standing no more than 4-5 feet away, I drew my bow. Once reaching my anchor, and assuring that my arrow was going to hit the target and not the neighbors dog, I closed my eyes. With nothing to look at, I placed my finger on the trigger and slowly began squeezing. I was relying solely on my senses to cut the shot.

To say it was intimidating would be an understatement. I have never felt anything that compares to it. My body and mind fought the impulse to hammer the trigger. Thankfully, my release aid would not allow it. It took several days before I could get the release to fire and an arrow to let go on a consistent basis. However, every time that I tried, my subconscious was rewiring the way I triggered the shot. After hundreds of attempts, it was gradually starting to become a habit. Three weeks later, I was prepared to open my eyes and face the real world.

I eagerly set up my GlenDel Buck target and ranged off 20 yards. Feeling excited about shooting, yet nervous about the outcome, I nocked an arrow and just stood there. After a long wait, I drew my bow and proceeded to aim at the buck’s chest. My second lesson was about to commence. While my subconscious was trying to squeeze the trigger, my conscious mind was struggling to just let the pin float around the spot I wanted to hit. At times it wanted to drift back to my finger and what it was doing.

I tried to hold it as steady as I could. It was a fruitless effort. This conflict went on for some interval since the conscious mind can only perform one task at a time. Eventually, what I began to learn about aiming was, that I wasn’t actually aiming at anything at all. At least not with my sight pin. This may sound ludicrous, but I had to learn to aim with my eyes. What I mean is, that I had to learn to focus all of my conscious thought on the spot I wanted to hit, while my subconscious activated the shot. It is two entirely different actions that must happen in unison. We all possess a self centering mechanism that will center the sight pin on the target. We simply must trust it to do it‘s job, while we do ours. Our job.....merely to aim.

As you may have guessed, the bow did not fire on that first try. Every time that I attempted to command the trigger, it would not go off. I did not give up though. I soon realized that as long as my conscious mind was thinking about what my trigger finger was doing, I was no longer aiming. And if I wasn’t aiming, how could I expect to hit anything? It slowly began to dawn on me that the task of aiming wasn’t about holding my pin dead steady and it wasn’t about smashing the trigger the instant the sight pin was on the mark.

Aiming, for me it seems, is essentially burning a hole on the spot I want to strike, while my pin floats around it. The pin may hover on or off the spot. It may drift above or below the spot. Guess what? It doesn’t matter. As long as I never remove my conscious focus from that point, phenomenal things will happen.

Shooting this way for a little more than a week really drove home an important point. The little green pin where I live and die, succeed or fail, and store all my hopes and dreams...... is meaningless. All I must do is put it in the general area and “forget about it”. I have learned that natural movement of the sight pin is vital to success. Man am I stubborn.

Using my back muscles, in order to trigger the shot, is also an essential element of the total shot sequence. Instead of solely squeezing the trigger with my finger, I pull with the muscles in my upper back on my release hand side. It is like trying to draw my shoulder toward my spine. It is important to note the position of the trigger in relation to my trigger finger. The trigger rests deep within my finger, between the first and second knuckle. My finger then becomes somewhat of a hook. As I pull with my back, my finger begins to apply pressure to the trigger. Eventually the tension builds and the trigger breaks, releasing the arrow via complete surprise.

I am still working on pulling through the shot with more of my back and less of my finger. Either way is adequate, I just seem to hold on the spot and follow through better when I pull with the muscles in my back. In my heart I know this is how I should execute the shot. I just need more time to convince my grey matter of this truth.

I would like to stress a single point once more. I do not consider myself an authority on anything. I’m just a regular guy, on a journey into unfamiliar terrain. Everyday I learn more. Everyday I am humbled more. But, everyday I become a little more at ease with this procedure, and I am getting better at it.

There are many facets to this demon called Target Panic. And just as many cures. This, it seems, is my way of healing. My hope is that by putting my personal shortcomings on paper, a fellow archer may uncover something they can use to fight this ailment. It takes time, patience, and above all, dedication. Stay the course and don’t ever give up. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done, but also, the most rewarding.

I can honestly say one thing though. In spite of what other‘s may say, this condition is real. It will not go away in the same manner in which it came. It takes work, a lot of work. It also takes a personal commitment. You have to need it.

Strive to locate someone who has been there and done that. Watch them and learn from their techniques. Ask them questions and seek their guidance. They will be the rock you lean against, and the guardian angel that sits on your shoulder. Keep in mind, when you are facing a demon, it is to your advantage to have an angel on your side.

On a personal note: My “rock” resides in Michigan. He has helped me in so many ways. With his guidance and sincere words of encouragement, along with my own personal prayers, I am on my way to a better method of shooting. It is starting to become fun again. I thank God, and I thank you Jim.

Just let it float.